I've seen her before, where did I see her from?
Oh ya, my mom showed pictures of her, when I was barely one.
Her body so majestic, it can make you weep.
I dream about her everyday when I go to sleep.
Mom, Mom!! Tell me more about her!
Does she have the aromas of a blooming flower?
Does she have the strength of an independent woman, yearning for power?
Does she have the sense to love me, when my heart turn sour?
I've seen her before, where did I see her from?
Oh ya, my mom showed pictures of her, when I was barely one.
Her love is like ecstasy, she can make you high.
I want to see her now, but i can't yet! *sigh*
When can I hear her sing?
When can I see this magnificent thing?
When can I touch her soul with this promise ring?
Growing to love her even more, i can't bare it no more!
I bought a plane ticket to see her and there I soar!
I finally see her! She was the BOMB!
I asked her for her name, her name was Vietnam!
Damn it, I tried guessing who it was you were asking of, I thought it was your grandma :( But regardless, it's pretty intriguing and engaging, it kept me guessing who it was you were referring to. I like that it was short enough to where I didn't lose interest. It's definitely a different style of writing, which I enjoyed very much, it sets you apart from other writers making you come off as an interesting writer.
ReplyDeletecool stuff. I look forward to seeing future works of yours.
ReplyDeleteAlso, totally unrelated to creative writing, but I ran into this same copy/paste issue. if you edit the html and find somewhere it says something like "background:white" or it might say "background:#ffffff."
Alls you gotta do is change the second part so it says "background:transparent" and you should be good to go.
i really liked this. I agree with Javier when it comes to length and engagement. And I like the different style used. I as expecting it to be about a girl or loved one. Its fun to read something and expect a particular outcome only to get something completely unexpected.
ReplyDelete